


love is not just looking at each other (it’s looking in the same direction)

by fatpussyschmonkgirl



Category: Jurassic Park - All Media Types, Political RPF - US 21st c., Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Hopeful Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Other, Vore, crocs fetish, i got paid twenty dollars for this, i wish i could sit here and tell you i’m sorry about this but. mama didn’t raise a liar., maybe i’ll post a part two, meet cute, the typos are intentional i think it adds to the Ambiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatpussyschmonkgirl/pseuds/fatpussyschmonkgirl
Summary: chris just wants someone who will love him unconditionally
Relationships: Chris Pratt/Donald Trump, Shrek (Shrek)/Chris Pratt
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	love is not just looking at each other (it’s looking in the same direction)

"We've been having this argument for weeks now, Donny," Chris sighed. "I even had them handmade in your signature spray-tan orange."

Trump crossed his arms indignantly, showing no signs of giving in and allowing his boyfriend the pleasure of winning this argument. It wasn't so much about the shoes anymore as it was his own stubbornness. 

"C'mon baby, you know how much this means to me." Chris placed his hands on his boyfriends shoulders (which were enhanced with 80s style shoulder pads), and looked deep into his eyes.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore, Chris!" Donald turned briskly, away from his lover and towards the window which faced over the White House lawn. "You're too demanding! First it was the dinosaurs, then the posters and now the fucking shoes!" 

"Well I can't control my crocs fetish, Don!" Chris's voice shook both with anger and the unshed tears welling up in his eyes. "Just picture it babe, you and me, on a bed of crocs." 

"That's not romantic, Crisp." Trumpet said, "you make me sick."

"Are you kidding me?! You're really going to throw away everything we have? Over this?!" Chris wanted to scream. Everyone always told him that Trumpet didn't treat him right, but Crisp never listened. He'd given up so much to make this work, his career, his best friend (a dinosaur plushie), even his mother stopped talking to him. Hell, Chrisp had even abandoned his own morals to make this relationship work. "I gave up everything for you Donny." 

His boyfriend wouldn't even look at him. Chris finally started to cry. 

"There are some sacrifices I'm not willing to make, Rat. I'm the king— sorry, president— of this country! What would people say if they saw me in crocs?"

Crisp knew they were over. In a small moment of bravery, he realized that he couldn't be with someone who wasn't willing to make sacrifices for him, let alone something so simple. Crhis turned and walked out.

Only once he made it past the White House grounds did he let himself start to cry. His love, his little trumpet. It dawned on Chrisp that he gave up so much for this relationship to work, and the whole time Donny boy was cheating on him! Chris didn't know how he was able to get over that, but not the crocs? 

Chrispy kept walking straight, clipping through buildings and smashing through cars that crossed his path. He didn't know where he was going, but he kept walking anyway, destroying everything in his path.

'In tragic news, President Trump was found dead this morning. He appears to have been eaten by a local killer clown named Pennywide. We have the one and only here muncher here, Pennywise?'

'Thank you, Susan...' Chrip covered his ears to try and tune out the noise. Trumpy-poo? His Trumpy-poo? He couldn't be dead! This had to be some kind of elaborate joke, right? '... as we all know, President Trump was cheating on his wife with a man by the name of Christ Rat! Since I'm incredibly Home Of Phobic, I just had to eat him! (His ass, of course.) '

'So let me get this straight, Penny. You vored President Trump?'

'Yes Ma'am.'

'Thank you Penywis.'

'Yuore welcome Susan.'

Chrip couldn't understand how pennywise made a typo in a verbal conversation, but nonetheless he was horrified.

"Hey, dude, you okay?" Crush looked up to see a tall green monster standing in front of him! He screamed.

"Relax, relax! I'm not hobophobic!" The monster helped him stand up. "I'm Shrek." 

Shreck was a lot more handsome than Chrisp anticipated. He was tall, green, and disgusting. Chrsp loved it. 

"I'm, uh, I'm Chrisp." He mumbled, unable to look away from Shrec's beautiful brown eyes.

"Crisp!" Shrrck helped him up from his place on the ground. "What are you doing here?" 

"Well, I just found out the love of my life was vored by a killer clown." Chris sighed, "And I have nowhere to go now, since I just broke up with him." 

"Yeah, that blows." Shrek noddrd. "I have an extra swamp you could stay in if you wanted." 

Chrisp knew he shouldn't trust a complete stranger. But the combination of having nowhere to go and how attractive Shrek was made Chrisp agree before he could even think the idea through. 

It was a long walk home from there, but Chrup found that he and Shrecc hit it off beautifully. More often than not Chris found himself smiling and laughing along with the ogre. By the time they reached the swamp Crsp was almost able to shove thoughts of his Dearly Beloved out of his mind. 

The swamp was beautiful and disgusting, and even though it was Crusp's first time seeing it it instantly gave him a feeling of home. 

"Wow..." Chris was breathless, "this is... beautiful." 

"I've never had visitors in ma swamp before." Shreck clapped Chris on the back, which caused him to fall over since Schrek was so much bigger and stronger than him.

The ogre offered a quick apology and helped Chrip up before showing him inside the cozy looking cottage on the property.

Shreck started a fire in the fireplace and began dinner. He offered an Oingion for Chrus, but he wasn't hungry anyway, so he declined. They took a seat in front of the roaring fire while Shrek ate. 

"So," he munched on an oingion, "what happened with you and Trump?"

His breath was so pungent and oingion scented that Chris could smell it even from far away. "It's a long story."

"I've got time." The onion breath was so sexy. 

"Well you see," Chrip started, "I kinda have a little... uh... alittlecrocsfetish." 

"What was that?" Shreck leaned in closer, his sexy sexy onion breath was right there.

"A crocs fetish!" He shouted, "and Trumpy-poo couldn't handle it!"

Shrec sat back now, processing everything. "A crocs fetish huh?" Chirp blushed furiously. "Y'know, I think I have an old pair of crocs in the closet somewhere." 

"Y-you do?" 

"Would you like to see them?" Shreck smirked. 

Chris could barely contain his excitement. "If you want to show me, I wouldn't complain." 

Now that the mood was nice and sexy, onion breath Shreck pealed off Chrip's clothing and epidermis. 

And let's just say, ogres and people are just like oingion (they have layers. Delicious delicious layers).

"DONKEHHHHHHH!" Chrip awoke to the sound of his new Lover's hideous roar. "DID YUO EAT MA OINGION?!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry


End file.
